


Coming To Get Me

by beefcakebuck



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Captain America, Marvel, Steve Rogers - Fandom, SteveBucky - Fandom, the winter soldier - Fandom
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, bucky thinks steve doesn't need him anymore, bucky's afraid of heights, bucky's fall, mentions of bucky's father, mentions of bucky's sister, mentions of peggy carter - Freeform, mentions of steve's mother, sad Steve, steve's a little hard on himself, the Howling Commandos, the first avenger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 13:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12607364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beefcakebuck/pseuds/beefcakebuck
Summary: Bucky continued to groan, not being able to move anything but his head. Along with the clouds fogging up his eyes, tears gathered beside them. They slipped down toward his ears and instantly took the temperature of the air around them."Steve?" Bucky gasped.Or the day Bucky falls off the train.





	Coming To Get Me

**Author's Note:**

> this is a result of a conversation between my friend judy and i, where we discussed how bucky must have felt waiting for steve to jump after him. this one's for you, juice! i'm sorry in advance, friends.

It was cold. So _unbearably cold_. Bucky was beginning to regret ignoring Steve's request to wear another shirt under his blue coat. He didn't think he'd need it, since they were going to be on the move, creating body heat anyway.

But, god, he really wished he'd listened to him, because each gust of wind was creeping under his clothes and into his body, ricochet off of his bones over and over again. Then it began to feel like the cold was closing in on him, surrounding him and swallowing him whole.

_THREE HOURS EARLIER_

"I'll be fine, Steve, ya know I hate when you mother hen me." Bucky rolled his eyes as he put his coat on.

"I sound like you, Buck. You remember all those times you told me to wear two pairs of socks and 'if you don't tuck your slacks into them, Rogers, I'm not takin' care of you if you get sick'." Steve said in Bucky's Brooklyn accent.

"No, you sound more like you Ma if you ask me." Bucky finished closing up his coat and sat beside Steve.

Bucky was still adjusting to Steve's new body and he was sure Steve was too. Not only is he about an inch taller than Bucky now, he's muscular in every damn sense of the word. When the brunette worked in construction with his dad's old roommates every summer, he'd get very fit, but that was nothing compared to how the blonde is now. There's muscle under every part of his skin and when he took his shirt off in front of Bucky the first time, the man almost fainted. So yeah, just a little getting used to.

"At least she got you to listen to her. It's like pullin' teeth getting you to listen to me." Bucky said.

"What? I listened to you. I would have gotten sick twice as much if it weren't for you." Steve said.

"Yeah, if it weren't for me nagging you all the time. And besides, if anyone should put on an extra shirt, it should be you. Ya sure you're gonna be alright in just this?" Bucky asked, pinching the material of Steve's uniform. "You just got a t-shirt under there."

Steve stood up to grab his belt and latched it around his waist. Bucky liked to watch him, almost hypnotized by the way he moved in his new body. Don't get him wrong, he loved Steve's old body. He loved the way he could wrap his whole hand around each wrist and hold them above his head while they kissed and the way he'd always have to poke new holes in his belts so they'd fit around his waist, but there was something so intriguing about having the man he fell in love with in a body that's bigger than his own rather than smaller.

"The suit has some padding, but with Erskine's serum, I make even more body heat than the average person." Steve said, putting a few things into the pockets that were attached to his belt.

"So that's another thing you don't need from me, huh?" Bucky said, a bit of bitterness dancing on his tongue.

Steve stopped what he was doing to look at Bucky who was now leaning back on his hands, staring at him. Only Steve would be able to tell, but Bucky's eyes were sad and guarded.

"What's that supposed to mean, Buck?" He asked cautiously. It wasn't wise to get into a fight right before a mission.

"Nothin', I'm just sayin' you don't need me so much anymore." Bucky said with a shrug. Steve knew it was an act. "Can't get sick so you don't need me to take care of you anymore. Don't need me to keep you warm when you start shivering in your sleep."

"Bucky-" Steve began, but he rose to his feet and walked toward the exit of the tent.

"Just forget it, Steve, I don't wanna talk about it."

Steve stepped in front of him, seizing his attempt to leave.

"This is obviously bothering you, Buck, I need to-"

"You don't need to do anything, Steve. You're good now, you don't need me anymore, I understand. You got this new body, new friends and you got this beautiful dame that's head over heels for you, so I get it-"

"Get what, Bucky?" Steve interupted.

"You don't _need me_ anymore, Steve. It's okay, really." Bucky said but it was most definitely not fine, judging by the hurt look in his eyes that was breaking Steve's heart little bit little.

"I'm always going to need you, Bucky." Steve said. "I need you now more than ever, actually."

Bucky scoffed,"Why's that?"

"Because I can't do this without you. I can't do any of this unless you're right by my side the whole way." Steve said. Bucky's eyes slowly softened.

"It's not how it used to be, Steve." He mumbled.

"And that's an issue because...? Now you won't be scared sick wondering if I'm going to die from a cold or bleed out in an alley somewhere."

"That's not funny, Steve."

"And I'm not joking, Buck. This serum made me bigger but it didn't make me any braver than I was before. Only you can do that."

The corners of Bucky's lips twitched, wanting to smile.

"And even if I don't need you to keep me warm, that doesn't mean I won't want to sleep next to you every night."

Bucky gave in to the pulls of his lips and chuckled.

"I wouldn't really give you a choice, you're like walking fire place." Bucky said. Steve smiled.

"Leaving in five, boys!" A voice called from outside the tent.

"We should head out." Steve said, walking passed Bucky.

"Steve, wait." He said, grabbing his arm to hold him back. The blonde looked at him. It was so weird having to look up a bit at him now.

"I'm sorry for giving you the cold shoulder and bein' such a jerk." Bucky said.

"I would be worried if you weren't being a jerk, Buck." Steve smiled.

Bucky rolled his eyes,"I see the serum didn't cure being a punk."

"Not quite, I think they looked over it." Steve said.

Bucky just smiled, looking into the other man's eyes. Steve leaned forward, pressing his lips to Bucky's in a soft kiss. The older man grabbed a handful of Steve's uniform to hold him in place as he deepened the kiss, sucking on his bottom lip, then his top, then bottom, then top.

When they pulled away, Bucky was back to his old self again.

"I do like this suit, by the way. Maybe when we get back, you can show me where all the zippers and buttons are so I know how to take it off so I can take a better look at all these new muscles you got."

_THREE HOURS LATER_

His head hurt. It was pounding and pulsing. His ears were ringing loudly, his cloudy eyes were growing heavy with each passing second.

Where was he? Was he back at the base in the clinic tent? Was he dreaming? Why did everything hurt?

Bucky groaned brokenly, blinking a few times to clear his vision but it proved useless. It was still hazy.

Then he began to feel it. The absolutely _agonizing_ _pain_. No, not the pain shooting up his spine or the pounding in his head, it was more like the pain you'd probably feel if a limb was literally ripped from your body.

Bucky continued to groan, not being able to move anything but his head. Along with the clouds fogging up his eyes, tears gathered beside them. They slipped down toward his ears and instantly took the temperature of the air around it.

"Steve?" Bucky gasped.

_TWO HOUR EARLIER_

The hike was easy. When they got to the top of the mountain, Gabe and Jim set up their equipment while Dum Dum and Montgomery kept watch with their binoculars. Dernier sat between them, polishing a few of his things. Steve and Bucky stood at the edge of the cliff, looking over the snowy mountains and trees.

Bucky couldn't stop thinking about the drop. How high they were was making him a bit nauseous.

"You remember dad?" Bucky asked quietly enough for only Steve to hear.

"'course I do, Buck. I was just thinking about him too." Steve said.

Bucky's father was a good man. He was skilled and smart and always put up with his son, even after telling him time and time again not to get into fights with his fellow classmates, but did it anyway. He learned how to braid Becca's how they way she liked it when their mother died, practicing everyday until he got it just right. Bucky looked up to his father, he was a hero and a leader, exactly the kind of man he wanted to grow into.

Which is why it was so heartbreaking to open the door and hear the news of his passing. He was in a training exercise, teaching soldiers the proper was to use a parachute after jumping from a helicopter when he fell to his death. Ever since then, Bucky had an immense fear of heights, afraid the fate that met his father would soon meet him too.

"What's on your mind, Buck?" Steve asked, glancing over at him.

"Christmas. '37." Bucky said softly, still gazing out at the view. "That was out first Christmas as orphans. Becca was so young, she didn't even understand that dad was never coming home, not even after the funeral."

Steve stared at him quietly, listening.

"Your ma was so good to us, letting us stay with you guys. Your place was small but we were happy." Bucky smiled at the thought.

Steve smiled too, but it quickly vanished as he remembered the day Bucky and Becca were taken away to the orphanage across town. They were still able to see each other often, but the look on Bucky's face when the orphanage workers came to pick them up was one little Steve would never forget. He vowed to never let Bucky make that face ever again.

Steve begged his mother to let them stay with them in their tiny apartment, but Bucky knew she was barely making it by when she had one child to look after, let alone three. The Barnes' ventured over to the Rogers household so often though, sometimes it felt like they still lived there.

Eventually, Becca made friends at the orphanage and would stay with them while Bucky crossed town to see Steve.

Steve looked over at Bucky and could tell he was thinking the same thing.

"Do you think Pops would be nervous if he were here?" Bucky asked, finally looking at Steve.

When the blonde shook his head confidently, the brunette smiled and nodded.

"I don't think so either. Doesn't change the fact that I am, though."

Steve laid his hand on Bucky's shoulder, squeezing it.

  
Seeing Bucky dangling off the train with nothing but fear in his eyes was enough for Steve to forget about the entire world around him. The absolute only thing that mattered at this point in time was getting him back inside to safety.

"Grab my hand!" Steve screamed, stretching as far as his new body would let him. Bucky reached out frantically, trying to grab his hand, but the railing he was holding onto for dear life gave out, breaking off of the train all to quickly and he was falling, falling, falling.

"No!" Steve screamed, almost slipping off the train himself.

He watched Bucky fall, hand outstretched toward him. His screams pierced his ear as he watched him become smaller and smaller, falling further and further. It felt like he was up there just to watch.

_Should I jump? Would I survive that? Would BUCKY survive that? If I got to him, would he even be alive? He couldn't possibly live after a fall like that._

Steve's mind was racing as he stared down at the piles of snow Bucky was among now. He put his head down, squeezing his eyes shut.

Bucky was gone. His best friend, his soul mate. Gone. Just like that.

_I should have reached further, I could have grabbed him before he fell, I could have saved him, I could have done more. I could have done MORE, dammit._

Steve let out a quiet sob before biting the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood. He couldn't cry here, not yet. He climbed back into the train car, throwing himself into a sitting position with his legs extended, eyes glossed, looking far away.

_How do I move on from this? He was all I had left. First Pa, then Ma, now BUCKY? What am I gonna tell the guys? Oh god, what am I gonna tell BECCA? Is God really so cruel?_

"Captain? Captain!" Jones called from the other side of the train.

Steve snapped out of it, looking up at him. He held a gun up at Zola and one other young man.

"Barnes?" He said hesitantly.

Steve looked back out of the gaping hole in the train.

"Gone." He whispered.

  
The trip back to base was a quiet one. The team barely said a word and when they did, it was to inform the others that they were clear to continue from a certain point or another.

Zola and the young man were in front of all of them, cuffed and held at gunpoint, while the others walked behind them.

"Bucky was afraid of heights. Either way, it should've been me." Was the only thing Steve said, eyes directed toward the floor.

The other men didn't know what to say so they just looked at the Captain with sad eyes.

_TWO HOURS LATER_

Bucky's vision was clearer now. Not by much, but still. The pain was still evident, not subsiding in the slightest.

He looked around at his surroundings. All he saw was tree after tree covered in heaps of white snow.

All at once, he remembered. He was on the train with Steve, hanging off the side, reaching for the other man to pull him back in and then...

_I fell?_

"Steve?" Bucky said, voice gravely. He cleared his throat delicately. "Steve?" He called.

Bucky tried to move his legs, but at the slight movement, he jolted and groaned loudly. His legs have to be broken. He can't feel his left ankle and his right knee feels like it's being set on fire. He probably broke a few ribs too. Go figure.

He moved his right arm a bit, just to see if he could and groaned again. He looked at his wrist and saw a large purple bruise. It was sure to be broken as well. He looked down at his body, seeing large rips in his coat. Then he looked to his left at his arm but it wasn't there.

Bucky yelped a sound of surprise as he saw that his arm was missing from his upper bicep down. There was so much blood, soaking his coat, drenching the innocent snow beneath him.

He looked away and up at the sky, gasping for air, as he suddenly couldn't breathe.

"Steve?" He called again, trying to keep himself calm.

"Steve!" Bucky coughed, tearing his throat up as he did. His vision was becoming blurry again, probably at the loss of blood, so he slowly reached his right arm over to unbutton his coat. He gasped at every movement his broken wrist made, before he flipped the flap open and onto his bloody arm. Taking a deep breath, Bucky applied pressure to the limb. He yelled out in pain, throwing his head back.

"Steve!" He called again, desperately. "STEVE! I'm here! _Please_! Please."

From the unconditional pain, he felt like he was going to pass out. Bucky felt himself getting sleepy, eyelids starting to droop over his watery eyes.

"He's coming to get me. He's coming to get me." He mumbled to himself.

Bucky's face pinched up as his eyes swelled with tears again, falling fast.

"Please, come get me, Steve. Please." Bucky sobbed into the cold air as flakes of snow began to fall around him.

And then everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, bucky's father did die during a training exercise, resulting in his fear of heights. yes, bucky was a trouble maker, he always got into fights with boys at school, but he always won.
> 
> i'm not sure if sarah rogers let them stay with her and steve when their dad died, but it feels like something she would do, since steve didn't have very many friends.
> 
> dedicated to judy aka jc aka juice, thank you for always having my back and letting me rant and complain about everything. oh and giving me a place to drop all of these thoughts about steve and bucky, you rock for that. love you, see you in AZ, baby girl!! ;)
> 
> LEAVE A COMMENT IF YA NASTY.


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